Monday, January 14, 2013

FROM THE ARCHIVES: The World's Most Violent Craft Blog

Since I am still at the 2013 Winter CHA Show in Anaheim, California and not really able to update my blog, I decided to bring you some blog posts from the vault.
Actually, I haven't left for California yet as I am writing this, so I am actually writing to you from the past. Because of my time machine.
Or possibly I pre-scheduled this blog post before I got on the plane.
You decide.

Anyways, way back in the day (2009, to be precise), I used to have a parental guidance rating for my blog. And for the longest time my blog was Rated G.
I know, I know ~ I need to get out more.
Believe me, I hear you.

Then one day I did a review of several different craft knives and all of a sudden my blog was Rated PG-13! For violence! Wha ... !?!!! Here's what I had to say at the time:

This Blog is Rated PG-13.
Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.
Parents strongly cautioned.
Prior to writing the "Love Your Craft Knife" post, My blog was rated G.
Now my blog is rated PG-13 because I used the word "knife" 13 times.
Well, I guess it's fifteen times now. I wonder if I write the word "knife" often enough my blog will become rated R? If I could get an R rating,
I would totally put that blinkie on my sidebar.

People will click over here from YouTube and be all "OMG! What can she possibly be talking about!?" but won't be able to find anything inappropriate.

I really think that would be hilarious. For a scrapbook-related blog with no bad words or inappropriate references to be rated R because of one post about craft knives (ooh ... I typed "knives" again! I can't help myself!) to be rated R? Hee hee!

Is it wrong that I find this so amusing?

Life's a beach. Scrapbook it. Use a craft knife.
You should click here to read the comments from the original post: This Blog Is Now Rated PG-13.
They are pretty hilarious. I used to be so weird.
Obviously I was not going to let a PG-13 rating go. If I couldn't have a G rating on my homey little craft blog, then I was definitely going for an R rating,
I would not be satisfied until I had the most violent craft blog on the planet.
On August 2, 2009, I achieved infamy!
 Welcome to the World's Most Violent Craft Blog!

{Side Note: am I the only person that automatically thinks of the movie The Big Lebowski when they hear this song?}

Last night I achieved the R rating I had feverishly sought for approximately the last twenty-four hours. {In between going to Target and killing the gross spiders on my porch.} I actually do not have any strikes against me for profanity, suggestive content, etc. My current R rating is based solely on the supposedly ultra-violent content of my blog.

Ladies and gentlemen, as far as I can tell,
this is the most violent craft blog in the world.

I love it.

I'd like to thank all of my readers who contributed to this rating with their comments yesterday ~ I never could have done this without you! You're the best!

Now that this blog is officially Rated R,
there's going to have to be some changes around here.


First of all, there will be no more free video tutorials.
I am going to have to insist that you pay me.


::insert maniacal laughter here::

Or you could just, you know, continue to leave me nice comments.
Whichever. I plan to be a benevolent dictator.

Most of the time anyway.

Second, uh, well ... I don't know what the second change will be yet, but it's going to be diabolical. Which befits my new status as author of the world's most violent craft blog. Yes indeedy. Diabolical.

But we'll still have plenty of bling.

Life's a beach. Scrapbook it. Or Else.

Once again, you can see the original post, along with murderous comments, here:
Welcome to the World's Most Violent Craft Blog

I hope you guys enjoy this blast from the past!

I'm at CHA all day today & then we catch the red eye back from California tonight. I don't actually get back to DC until tomorrow because of the long flight + time change. I'll Tweet when the plane lands so you guys know I'm alive. Pretty much going straight to bed after that!


Today is also my brother's birthday! Happy Birthday, Scott!


  1. thank you for all the laughs thru the years.

  2. It took them 24hrs to rate that "R"? What were they waiting for blades to go flying across the room and spear the adhesive gun? Then where would you be, dead in the water? No more cutting or glueing.

  3. What about the die? Dies to die for. Geesh that's right I didn't even think about the adhesive and glue guns. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Now that is crazy What a crazy world we live in!!!

  5. One would think you would have your x rating by now. Just how many birds does one have to amputate before you become x rated? Just how many times does one have to clean up vampire tears before your rating is changed???? Someone is not doing thier job out there. LOL

  6. You are too funny and I love reading your blog especially when I need a laugh. I went to the rating thingy and received a "G" stating I had used the word "punch". Too funny. Thank you for making me LOL!